Today was a ‘fun to be a mom’ day

Journal 5-13-14

Today was a ‘fun to be a mom’ day.  So often I feel like I am grumpy about misbehaving children that these are such a treat when they come…hmmm…how to make them happen more often?

Over the past 2-3 days, I have been losing my voice, so I knew today could be challenging which perhaps is one reason why it was so fun.  J

We had preschool here and we learned about seasons.  Despite my computer having ink issues and not working AT ALL! I was able to get together some fun projects, including painting what trees would look like in all four seasons.  Brave me, no voice, taking on a class of 3-4 yr olds and PAINTING.  They did great! They are great kids!  And it was successful.  We ended up with 20 sheets with painting on all of them with correct colors depicting the different seasons, in perfect 4 yr old art.  Too bad we couldn’t send them home today.  They had to dry first.

Then I got a phone call at lunch time from a friend who told us that there are a ton of  construction trucks up at the temple.  They are building a new parking lot .  She had heard that D loves trucks and wanted to let us know so we could come watch them.  How thoughtful!  Then I felt so spontaneous I wanted to ditch their afternoon naps and leave right then.  I kept trying to make it happen, but we had some behavior challenges during lunch which prevented us from going up.  I am hoping for tomorrow morning.

R didn’t want to take a nap, and I know that she is quickly growing out of them, so I let her come sit by me while I worked on some things.  Finally when I was drowsy enough, I thought I’d take a power nap and had her lay down next to me.  Except that one of us giggled, then the other one and it was all over after that.  After a few minutes, I decided we’d better get going.

We got to take a dinner to a friend who just had a baby and we were totally out of gas so we went to Costco.  I figured that my friend with a newborn would probably appreciate a meal that wasn’t breathed on by sickly me, so I cheated and purchased a yummy meal.

She let me in her house (despite my voicelessness and sickliness) and I got to gaze upon heaven, sweet baby sleeping, oh my!  They are so peaceful!  I forget how those first few weeks are.  After number 1, those peaceful days never seem to last as long. 

Dinner was ready on time, so we finished dinner when Daddy had to leave for meetings and we ENJOYED  several minutes playing outside.   When it was time for bed, D decided not to come in and instead of me throwing a tantrum, I decided to learn from this and maybe let him learn too.  Thus ensued an amazing opportunity to teach about choices and consequences and R played into my lesson time.  Aha!  I LOVE these moments.

Choices and Consequences:

I thought if he is out during reading time, then he loses his story.  As I got the other two ready, I thought that I’d better give him some kind of warning, so I peeked out and invited him in.  He didn’t come in. Yeah!  He was playing into my lesson perfectly!

I invited him in a few more time which invitation he declined to accept.  After the other two were in bed, then I went out to get him.  He had built a cool tower with bricks, but I wasn’t quite sure how to show my enthusiasm and confuse him to think it was ok.  Finally I decided it is always ok to encourage him.  So I did!

As we walked inside I noticed that R had gotten up and was playing in my room with the door shut.  Hooray!  Leson 2 ready to go!  Then D wouldn’t feel so picked on.  I ignored her as we walked to his room.  I got his jammies as he washed up, grabbed the lamp from R’s room, and then gave him his milk as he sat on the couch.  “Where’s my story?” he asked.

“Well, you made a choice,”  I responded.  “Every choice has a consequence.  Mommy asked you to not go outside and you chose to not listen and decided to play.  If you had made a choice to listen and come inside, then the consequence would be to get to get in jammies together and read our stories.  Instead you chose to go outside and play.  You had fun out there, didn’t you?”  “Oh yes!”  he said.

“I thought you did.  So your fun time was spent outside while we were reading stories inside.  The consequence for listening to Mommy was getting to read stories.  The consequence for playing outside was missing our story time tonight.”

“But I want my story!  I can’t go to sleep or drink my milk without a story!”

“Tonight we’re going to have a talk while you drink your milk.”

At about that time R came out from my room, wondering why in the world, I had not followed her in to chase her down.  She LOVES that game!  She came and sat by me, so I included her in our lesson time.

“Rachel got to make a choice too.  I told her ‘good night’ and that if she stayed in her bed, she would be able to keep her light.  But if she got out of bed, she would lose it.  Can you see it in there, R?”  “no.”  “That’s because it’s not there.  You lost it.”  “I want it back.”  “Ok, here is another choice you can make.  I have to get D ready for bed.  Your choice now is to go into your room and lie down in your bed.  If you can do that, then you can get your light back.  The other choice you can make is to keep playing in Mommy’s room and/or be whiney.  The consequence for that choice is that you will have to go to sleep without a light. What are you going to choose to do?”

“Be whiney and keep playing.”  R said.  I LOVE how honest they are.  “Ok,” I responded.  “If that is your choice, then the consequence is that you won’t have your light.” pause  “Do you need me to help you to bed?”

So in the end, D was ok without a story and we talked about what choice he would make tomorrow.  He told me that he would tell me his decision after breakfast, no scripture reading and R stayed in bed.  I knew that she was exhausted after no nap.

This was such a neat discussion that I had to write it down.  I am never this patient and I want to remember that sometimes I can be.  Maybe that will help me in the future to take a deep breath and remember they are still children.  Growing quickly, but just children.   And that when I was young, I loved being taught patiently and with love.

I also need to mention:  I am positive that I had heavenly help.  I know that Heaven has great interest in mothers and their influence on children.  And I believe very deeply that there is much help for whatever crisis a mother faces.